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Poetry Prose by wakemeup60

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Submitted on
August 7, 2010
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As I stand here, feeling the weight of my hair increase and slump on my shoulders with water leaking down the curve of my back, I think of you, kneeling in the bedroom, forehead on the dirty carpet of lies, betrayal and doubt. Power lines and coral reefs separate us, a torturous wait for something that we hope alleviates us.

As I put on the headphones and make my choice against the voices of the world, I remember your crying, your painful sobs of apologies and promises I still believe you will one day fulfill. I clutch at my chest and wish that I could take a heartbeat and send it your way. Maybe you'll hear me...maybe I'll feel you. Ripped envelopes, healing scars and passionate thoughts connect us, a desire we will one day share.

-
Tonight I dance with streetlights in fine rain and I smile. Tonight, you stare out at misty roads and mountains with glass alone keeping you locked in.

Tomorrow I sing to ink cartridges and faded paper. You'll hold pillows and shuddered breaths that feel like home...like being with me.

And we'll forget the meaning of distance together as we walk towards forever.  
I can't stay mad at you. That's a bit crazy for my aggressive nature =P

something feels...empty in this. i'm not that unsure about this piece yet there seems to be something missing. ?
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:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2010
I love the ending, the last line specifically. (:
It does feel a bit empty.. but not like something is missing but like someONE is missing, which is what this is about.. so, you're all good! ^_^
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:iconiniquitire:
Iniquitire Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2010
PHEW! Yeah after reading this over so much i realised i just cant...edit like that or else i'll ruin the whole thing. hehe thank you, love. you're awesome.
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:iconlondonrey:
londonrey Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2010
I know how that is.. I'm glad you're alright with it. ^_^
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:iconlawleitspuppy:
Lawleitspuppy Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2010
I love it it's beautiful :D
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:iconiniquitire:
Iniquitire Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2010
Aw thanks ^^
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:iconwakemeup60:
wakemeup60 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2010
this is quite wonderful =D i can see what you mean by the emptiness, but i don't think the piece needs it. it sounds wonderful with something missing, like you're still in search of it. i love the part that goes ripped envelopes, healing scars, and passionate thoughts connect us. beautiful! :heart:
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:iconiniquitire:
Iniquitire Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2010
Eeep thank you!! I guess its just a feeling that I didn't complete it quite as I planned to...so that changed my look on it but...after a while I guess I'll just leave it as be because...its put exactly as I want it to...saying exactly what I needed to.
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:iconwakemeup60:
wakemeup60 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2010
you're very welcome =D i think you should leave it as it is too. it's quite beautiful like this :heart:
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:iconkraven42:
KRaven42 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
It does have a feeling of emptiness, but I think it's actually good, in this case. I love it as it is now. The words sound empty, like an empty emotion, if you understand what I mean. Because of the subject I think the emptiness is just the mood of the piece, not that you failed to do something in it. It's lovely.
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:iconiniquitire:
Iniquitire Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2010
:heart: Oh thank you so much :]
It goes both ways for me I meant in my comments. I feel empty but...at the same time...I feel like there wasn't much of an into and conclusion. But I'm glad you liked it :]
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